THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA
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Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUSVALENTINE
Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:PROTEUS
Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.
Were't not affection chains thy tender days
To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love,
I rather would entreat thy company
To see the wonders of the world abroad,
Than, living dully sluggardized at home,
Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.
But since thou lovest, love still and thrive therein,
Even as I would when I to love begin.
Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu!VALENTINE
Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest
Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel:
Wish me partaker in thy happiness
When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,
If ever danger do environ thee,
Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.
And on a love-book pray for my success?PROTEUS
Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee.VALENTINE
That's on some shallow story of deep love:PROTEUS
How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.
That's a deep story of a deeper love:VALENTINE
For he was more than over shoes in love.
'Tis true; for you are over boots in love,PROTEUS
And yet you never swum the Hellespont.
Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots.VALENTINE
No, I will not, for it boots thee not.PROTEUS
To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans;PROTEUS
Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights:
If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
If lost, why then a grievous labour won;
However, but a folly bought with wit,
Or else a wit by folly vanquished.
So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.VALENTINE
So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove.PROTEUS
'Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love.VALENTINE
Love is your master, for he masters you:PROTEUS
And he that is so yoked by a fool,
Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.
Yet writers say, as in the sweetest budVALENTINE
The eating canker dwells, so eating love
Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
And writers say, as the most forward budPROTEUS
Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,
Even so by love the young and tender wit
Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud,
Losing his verdure even in the prime
And all the fair effects of future hopes.
But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee,
That art a votary to fond desire?
Once more adieu! my father at the road
Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd.
And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.VALENTINE
Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.PROTEUS
To Milan let me hear from thee by letters
Of thy success in love, and what news else
Betideth here in absence of thy friend;
And likewise will visit thee with mine.
All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!VALENTINE
As much to you at home! and so, farewell.PROTEUS
He after honour hunts, I after love:SPEED
He leaves his friends to dignify them more,
I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.
Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,
Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.
Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?PROTEUS
But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan.SPEED
Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,PROTEUS
And I have play'd the sheep in losing him.
Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,SPEED
An if the shepherd be a while away.
You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,PROTEUS
and I a sheep?
Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.PROTEUS
A silly answer and fitting well a sheep.SPEED
This proves me still a sheep.PROTEUS
True; and thy master a shepherd.SPEED
Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.PROTEUS
It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.SPEED
The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep thePROTEUS
shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks
not me: therefore I am no sheep.
The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; theSPEED
shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for
wages followest thy master; thy master for wages
follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep.
Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'PROTEUS
But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia?SPEED
Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,PROTEUS
a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a
lost mutton, nothing for my labour.
Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons.SPEED
If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.PROTEUS
Nay: in that you are astray, 'twere best pound you.SPEED
Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me forPROTEUS
carrying your letter.
You mistake; I mean the pound,--a pinfold.SPEED
From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,PROTEUS
'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to
But what said she?SPEED
[First nodding] Ay.PROTEUS
Nod--Ay--why, that's noddy.SPEED
You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you askPROTEUS
me if she did nod; and I say, 'Ay.'
And that set together is noddy.SPEED
Now you have taken the pains to set it together,PROTEUS
take it for your pains.
No, no; you shall have it for bearing the letter.SPEED
Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.PROTEUS
Why sir, how do you bear with me?SPEED
Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothingPROTEUS
but the word 'noddy' for my pains.
Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.SPEED
And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.PROTEUS
Come come, open the matter in brief: what said she?SPEED
Open your purse, that the money and the matter mayPROTEUS
be both at once delivered.
Well, sir, here is for your pains. What said she?SPEED
Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.PROTEUS
Why, couldst thou perceive so much from her?SPEED
Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no,PROTEUS
not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter:
and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I
fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your
mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as
hard as steel.
What said she? nothing?SPEED
No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' ToPROTEUS
testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned
me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your
letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master.
Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck,
Which cannot perish having thee aboard,
Being destined to a drier death on shore.
Exit SPEEDI must go send some better messenger:
I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,
Receiving them from such a worthless post.
Enter JULlA and LUCETTAJULIA
But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,LUCETTA
Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.JULIA
Of all the fair resort of gentlemenLUCETTA
That every day with parle encounter me,
In thy opinion which is worthiest love?
Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mindJULIA
According to my shallow simple skill.
What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?LUCETTA
As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;JULIA
But, were I you, he never should be mine.
What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?LUCETTA
Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.JULIA
What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?LUCETTA
Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us!JULIA
How now! what means this passion at his name?LUCETTA
Pardon, dear madam: 'tis a passing shameJULIA
That I, unworthy body as I am,
Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.
Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?LUCETTA
Then thus: of many good I think him best.JULIA
I have no other, but a woman's reason;JULIA
I think him so because I think him so.
And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?LUCETTA
Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.JULIA
Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.LUCETTA
Yet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.JULIA
His little speaking shows his love but small.LUCETTA
Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.JULIA
They do not love that do not show their love.LUCETTA
O, they love least that let men know their love.JULIA
I would I knew his mind.LUCETTA
Peruse this paper, madam.JULIA
'To Julia.' Say, from whom?LUCETTA
That the contents will show.JULIA
Say, say, who gave it thee?LUCETTA
Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.JULIA
He would have given it you; but I, being in the way,
Did in your name receive it: pardon the
fault I pray.
Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!LUCETTA
Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?
To whisper and conspire against my youth?
Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth
And you an officer fit for the place.
Or else return no more into my sight.
To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.JULIA
Will ye be gone?LUCETTA
That you may ruminate.JULIA
And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter:LUCETTA
It were a shame to call her back again
And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.
What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid,
And would not force the letter to my view!
Since maids, in modesty, say 'no' to that
Which they would have the profferer construe 'ay.'
Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse
And presently all humbled kiss the rod!
How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
When willingly I would have had her here!
How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!
My penance is to call Lucetta back
And ask remission for my folly past.
What ho! Lucetta!
What would your ladyship?JULIA
Is't near dinner-time?LUCETTA
I would it were,JULIA
That you might kill your stomach on your meat
And not upon your maid.
What is't that you took up so gingerly?LUCETTA
Why didst thou stoop, then?LUCETTA
To take a paper up that I let fall.JULIA
And is that paper nothing?LUCETTA
Nothing concerning me.JULIA
Then let it lie for those that it concerns.LUCETTA
Madam, it will not lie where it concernsJULIA
Unless it have a false interpeter.
Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.LUCETTA
That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.JULIA
Give me a note: your ladyship can set.
As little by such toys as may be possible.LUCETTA
Best sing it to the tune of 'Light o' love.'
It is too heavy for so light a tune.JULIA
Heavy! belike it hath some burden then?LUCETTA
Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.JULIA
And why not you?LUCETTA
I cannot reach so high.JULIA
Let's see your song. How now, minion!LUCETTA
Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:JULIA
And yet methinks I do not like this tune.
You do not?LUCETTA
No, madam; it is too sharp.JULIA
You, minion, are too saucy.LUCETTA
Nay, now you are too flatJULIA
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:
There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass.LUCETTA
Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.JULIA
This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.LUCETTA
Here is a coil with protestation!
Tears the letterGo get you gone, and let the papers lie:
You would be fingering them, to anger me.
She makes it strange; but she would be best pleasedJULIA
To be so anger'd with another letter.
Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!LUCETTA
O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia!
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.'
Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed
Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal'd;
And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down.
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
Till I have found each letter in the letter,
Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear
Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock
And throw it thence into the raging sea!
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear away.
And yet I will not, sith so prettily
He couples it to his complaining names.
Thus will I fold them one on another:
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
Dinner is ready, and your father stays.
Well, let us go.LUCETTA
What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?JULIA
If you respect them, best to take them up.LUCETTA
Nay, I was taken up for laying them down:JULIA
Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.
I see you have a month's mind to them.LUCETTA
Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;JULIA
I see things too, although you judge I wink.
Come, come; will't please you go?
Enter ANTONIO and PANTHINOANTONIO
Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was thatPANTHINO
Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister?
'Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son.ANTONIO
Why, what of him?PANTHINO
He wonder'd that your lordshipANTONIO
Would suffer him to spend his youth at home,
While other men, of slender reputation,
Put forth their sons to seek preferment out:
Some to the wars, to try their fortune there;
Some to discover islands far away;
Some to the studious universities.
For any or for all these exercises,
He said that Proteus your son was meet,
And did request me to importune you
To let him spend his time no more at home,
Which would be great impeachment to his age,
In having known no travel in his youth.
Nor need'st thou much importune me to thatPANTHINO
Whereon this month I have been hammering.
I have consider'd well his loss of time
And how he cannot be a perfect man,
Not being tried and tutor'd in the world:
Experience is by industry achieved
And perfected by the swift course of time.
Then tell me, whither were I best to send him?
I think your lordship is not ignorantANTONIO
How his companion, youthful Valentine,
Attends the emperor in his royal court.
I know it well.PANTHINO
'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither:ANTONIO
There shall he practise tilts and tournaments,
Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen.
And be in eye of every exercise
Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.
I like thy counsel; well hast thou advised:PANTHINO
And that thou mayst perceive how well I like it,
The execution of it shall make known.
Even with the speediest expedition
I will dispatch him to the emperor's court.
To-morrow, may it please you, Don Alphonso,ANTONIO
With other gentlemen of good esteem,
Are journeying to salute the emperor
And to commend their service to his will.
Good company; with them shall Proteus go:PROTEUS
And, in good time! now will we break with him.
Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life!ANTONIO
Here is her hand, the agent of her heart;
Here is her oath for love, her honour's pawn.
O, that our fathers would applaud our loves,
To seal our happiness with their consents!
O heavenly Julia!
How now! what letter are you reading there?PROTEUS
May't please your lordship, 'tis a word or twoANTONIO
Of commendations sent from Valentine,
Deliver'd by a friend that came from him.
Lend me the letter; let me see what news.PROTEUS
There is no news, my lord, but that he writesANTONIO
How happily he lives, how well beloved
And daily graced by the emperor;
Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.
And how stand you affected to his wish?PROTEUS
As one relying on your lordship's willANTONIO
And not depending on his friendly wish.
My will is something sorted with his wish.PROTEUS
Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed;
For what I will, I will, and there an end.
I am resolved that thou shalt spend some time
With Valentinus in the emperor's court:
What maintenance he from his friends receives,
Like exhibition thou shalt have from me.
To-morrow be in readiness to go:
Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.
My lord, I cannot be so soon provided:ANTONIO
Please you, deliberate a day or two.
Look, what thou want'st shall be sent after thee:PROTEUS
No more of stay! to-morrow thou must go.
Come on, Panthino: you shall be employ'd
To hasten on his expedition.
Exeunt ANTONIO and PANTHINO
Thus have I shunn'd the fire for fear of burning,PANTHINO
And drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd.
I fear'd to show my father Julia's letter,
Lest he should take exceptions to my love;
And with the vantage of mine own excuse
Hath he excepted most against my love.
O, how this spring of love resembleth
The uncertain glory of an April day,
Which now shows all the beauty of the sun,
And by and by a cloud takes all away!
Sir Proteus, your father calls for you:PROTEUS
He is in haste; therefore, I pray you to go.
Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto,
And yet a thousand times it answers 'no.'
Enter VALENTINE and SPEEDSPEED
Sir, your glove.VALENTINE
Not mine; my gloves are on.SPEED
Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.VALENTINE
Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:SPEED
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!VALENTINE
How now, sirrah?SPEED
She is not within hearing, sir.VALENTINE
Why, sir, who bade you call her?SPEED
Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.VALENTINE
Well, you'll still be too forward.SPEED
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.VALENTINE
Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?SPEED
She that your worship loves?VALENTINE
Why, how know you that I am in love?SPEED
Marry, by these special marks: first, you haveVALENTINE
learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you
walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Are all these things perceived in me?SPEED
They are all perceived without ye.VALENTINE
Without me? they cannot.SPEED
Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without youVALENTINE
were so simple, none else would: but you are so
without these follies, that these follies are within
you and shine through you like the water in an
urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
physician to comment on your malady.
But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?SPEED
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?VALENTINE
Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.SPEED
Why, sir, I know her not.VALENTINE
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yetSPEED
knowest her not?
Is she not hard-favoured, sir?VALENTINE
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.SPEED
Sir, I know that well enough.VALENTINE
What dost thou know?SPEED
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.VALENTINE
I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.SPEED
That's because the one is painted and the other outVALENTINE
of all count.
How painted? and how out of count?SPEED
Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that noVALENTINE
man counts of her beauty.
How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.SPEED
You never saw her since she was deformed.VALENTINE
How long hath she been deformed?SPEED
Ever since you loved her.VALENTINE
I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still ISPEED
see her beautiful.
If you love her, you cannot see her.VALENTINE
Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;VALENTINE
or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to
have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going
What should I see then?SPEED
Your own present folly and her passing deformity:VALENTINE
for he, being in love, could not see to garter his
hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for lastSPEED
morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,VALENTINE
you swinged me for my love, which makes me the
bolder to chide you for yours.
In conclusion, I stand affected to her.SPEED
I would you were set, so your affection would cease.VALENTINE
Last night she enjoined me to write some lines toSPEED
one she loves.
And have you?VALENTINE
Are they not lamely writ?VALENTINE
No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!SPEED
here she comes.
[Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!VALENTINE
Now will he interpret to her.
Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.SPEED
[Aside] O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.SILVIA
Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.SPEED
[Aside] He should give her interest and she gives it him.VALENTINE
As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letterSILVIA
Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
But for my duty to your ladyship.
I thank you gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done.VALENTINE
Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;SILVIA
For being ignorant to whom it goes
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
Perchance you think too much of so much pains?VALENTINE
No, madam; so it stead you, I will writeSILVIA
Please you command, a thousand times as much; And yet--
A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;SPEED
And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
And yet take this again; and yet I thank you,
Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
[Aside] And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'VALENTINE
What means your ladyship? do you not like it?SILVIA
Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ;VALENTINE
But since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them.
Madam, they are for you.SILVIA
Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request;VALENTINE
But I will none of them; they are for you;
I would have had them writ more movingly.
Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.SILVIA
And when it's writ, for my sake read it over,VALENTINE
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
If it please me, madam, what then?SILVIA
Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:SPEED
And so, good morrow, servant.
O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,VALENTINE
As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath
taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?SPEED
Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.VALENTINE
To do what?SPEED
To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.VALENTINE
To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.VALENTINE
By a letter, I should say.VALENTINE
Why, she hath not writ to me?SPEED
What need she, when she hath made you write toVALENTINE
yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
No, believe me.SPEED
No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceiveVALENTINE
She gave me none, except an angry word.SPEED
Why, she hath given you a letter.VALENTINE
That's the letter I writ to her friend.SPEED
And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.VALENTINE
I would it were no worse.SPEED
I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:VALENTINE
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
I have dined.SPEED
Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my
victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like
your mistress; be moved, be moved.
Enter PROTEUS and JULIAPROTEUS
Have patience, gentle Julia.JULIA
I must, where is no remedy.PROTEUS
When possibly I can, I will return.JULIA
If you turn not, you will return the sooner.PROTEUS
Keep this remembrance for thy Julia's sake.
Giving a ring
Why then, we'll make exchange; here, take you this.JULIA
And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.PROTEUS
Here is my hand for my true constancy;PANTHINO
And when that hour o'erslips me in the day
Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake,
The next ensuing hour some foul mischance
Torment me for my love's forgetfulness!
My father stays my coming; answer not;
The tide is now: nay, not thy tide of tears;
That tide will stay me longer than I should.
Exit JULIAWhat, gone without a word?
Ay, so true love should do: it cannot speak;
For truth hath better deeds than words to grace it.
Sir Proteus, you are stay'd for.PROTEUS
Go; I come, I come.
Alas! this parting strikes poor lovers dumb.
Enter LAUNCE, leading a dogLAUNCE
Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;PANTHINO
all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I
have received my proportion, like the prodigious
son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's
court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured
dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father
wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
wringing her hands, and all our house in a great
perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed
one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone, and
has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have
wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam,
having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my
parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This
shoe is my father: no, this left shoe is my father:
no, no, this left shoe is my mother: nay, that
cannot be so neither: yes, it is so, it is so, it
hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in
it, is my mother, and this my father; a vengeance
on't! there 'tis: now, sit, this staff is my
sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and
as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid: I
am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the
dog--Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so,
so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing:
now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping:
now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now
come I to my mother: O, that she could speak now
like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why, there
'tis; here's my mother's breath up and down. Now
come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes. Now
the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a
word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
Launce, away, away, aboard! thy master is shippedLAUNCE
and thou art to post after with oars. What's the
matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass! You'll
lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.
It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is thePANTHINO
unkindest tied that ever any man tied.
What's the unkindest tide?LAUNCE
Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.PANTHINO
Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood, and, inLAUNCE
losing the flood, lose thy voyage, and, in losing
thy voyage, lose thy master, and, in losing thy
master, lose thy service, and, in losing thy
service,--Why dost thou stop my mouth?
For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.PANTHINO
Where should I lose my tongue?LAUNCE
In thy tale.PANTHINO
In thy tail!LAUNCE
Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, andPANTHINO
the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river
were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the
wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.LAUNCE
Sir, call me what thou darest.PANTHINO
Wilt thou go?LAUNCE
Well, I will go.
Enter SILVIA, VALENTINE, THURIO, and SPEEDSILVIA
Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you.VALENTINE
Ay, boy, it's for love.SPEED
Not of you.VALENTINE
Of my mistress, then.SPEED
'Twere good you knocked him.SILVIA
Servant, you are sad.VALENTINE
Indeed, madam, I seem so.THURIO
Seem you that you are not?VALENTINE
Haply I do.THURIO
So do counterfeits.VALENTINE
So do you.THURIO
What seem I that I am not?VALENTINE
What instance of the contrary?VALENTINE
And how quote you my folly?VALENTINE
I quote it in your jerkin.THURIO
My jerkin is a doublet.VALENTINE
Well, then, I'll double your folly.THURIO
What, angry, Sir Thurio! do you change colour?VALENTINE
Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of chameleon.THURIO
That hath more mind to feed on your blood than liveVALENTINE
in your air.
You have said, sir.THURIO
Ay, sir, and done too, for this time.VALENTINE
I know it well, sir; you always end ere you begin.SILVIA
A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off.VALENTINE
'Tis indeed, madam; we thank the giver.SILVIA
Who is that, servant?VALENTINE
Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the fire. SirTHURIO
Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship's looks,
and spends what he borrows kindly in your company.
Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shallVALENTINE
make your wit bankrupt.
I know it well, sir; you have an exchequer of words,SILVIA
and, I think, no other treasure to give your
followers, for it appears by their bare liveries,
that they live by your bare words.
No more, gentlemen, no more:--here comes my father.DUKE
Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset.VALENTINE
Sir Valentine, your father's in good health:
What say you to a letter from your friends
Of much good news?
My lord, I will be thankful.DUKE
To any happy messenger from thence.
Know ye Don Antonio, your countryman?VALENTINE
Ay, my good lord, I know the gentlemanDUKE
To be of worth and worthy estimation
And not without desert so well reputed.
Hath he not a son?VALENTINE
Ay, my good lord; a son that well deservesDUKE
The honour and regard of such a father.
You know him well?VALENTINE
I know him as myself; for from our infancyDUKE
We have conversed and spent our hours together:
And though myself have been an idle truant,
Omitting the sweet benefit of time
To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection,
Yet hath Sir Proteus, for that's his name,
Made use and fair advantage of his days;
His years but young, but his experience old;
His head unmellow'd, but his judgment ripe;
And, in a word, for far behind his worth
Comes all the praises that I now bestow,
He is complete in feature and in mind
With all good grace to grace a gentleman.
Beshrew me, sir, but if he make this good,VALENTINE
He is as worthy for an empress' love
As meet to be an emperor's counsellor.
Well, sir, this gentleman is come to me,
With commendation from great potentates;
And here he means to spend his time awhile:
I think 'tis no unwelcome news to you.
Should I have wish'd a thing, it had been he.DUKE
Welcome him then according to his worth.VALENTINE
Silvia, I speak to you, and you, Sir Thurio;
For Valentine, I need not cite him to it:
I will send him hither to you presently.
This is the gentleman I told your ladyshipSILVIA
Had come along with me, but that his mistress
Did hold his eyes lock'd in her crystal looks.
Belike that now she hath enfranchised themVALENTINE
Upon some other pawn for fealty.
Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners still.SILVIA
Nay, then he should be blind; and, being blindVALENTINE
How could he see his way to seek out you?
Why, lady, Love hath twenty pair of eyes.THURIO
They say that Love hath not an eye at all.VALENTINE
To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself:SILVIA
Upon a homely object Love can wink.
Have done, have done; here comes the gentleman.VALENTINE
Welcome, dear Proteus! Mistress, I beseech you,SILVIA
Confirm his welcome with some special favour.
His worth is warrant for his welcome hither,VALENTINE
If this be he you oft have wish'd to hear from.
Mistress, it is: sweet lady, entertain himSILVIA
To be my fellow-servant to your ladyship.
Too low a mistress for so high a servant.PROTEUS
Not so, sweet lady: but too mean a servantVALENTINE
To have a look of such a worthy mistress.
Leave off discourse of disability:PROTEUS
Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant.
My duty will I boast of; nothing else.SILVIA
And duty never yet did want his meed:PROTEUS
Servant, you are welcome to a worthless mistress.
I'll die on him that says so but yourself.SILVIA
That you are welcome?PROTEUS
That you are worthless.THURIO
Madam, my lord your father would speak with you.SILVIA
I wait upon his pleasure. Come, Sir Thurio,PROTEUS
Go with me. Once more, new servant, welcome:
I'll leave you to confer of home affairs;
When you have done, we look to hear from you.
We'll both attend upon your ladyship.VALENTINE
Exeunt SILVIA and THURIO
Now, tell me, how do all from whence you came?PROTEUS
Your friends are well and have them much commended.VALENTINE
And how do yours?PROTEUS
I left them all in health.VALENTINE
How does your lady? and how thrives your love?PROTEUS
My tales of love were wont to weary you;VALENTINE
I know you joy not in a love discourse.
Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter'd now:PROTEUS
I have done penance for contemning Love,
Whose high imperious thoughts have punish'd me
With bitter fasts, with penitential groans,
With nightly tears and daily heart-sore sighs;
For in revenge of my contempt of love,
Love hath chased sleep from my enthralled eyes
And made them watchers of mine own heart's sorrow.
O gentle Proteus, Love's a mighty lord,
And hath so humbled me, as, I confess,
There is no woe to his correction,
Nor to his service no such joy on earth.
Now no discourse, except it be of love;
Now can I break my fast, dine, sup and sleep,
Upon the very naked name of love.
Enough; I read your fortune in your eye.VALENTINE
Was this the idol that you worship so?
Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint?PROTEUS
No; but she is an earthly paragon.VALENTINE
Call her divine.PROTEUS
I will not flatter her.VALENTINE
O, flatter me; for love delights in praises.PROTEUS
When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills,VALENTINE
And I must minister the like to you.
Then speak the truth by her; if not divine,PROTEUS
Yet let her be a principality,
Sovereign to all the creatures on the earth.
Except my mistress.VALENTINE
Sweet, except not any;PROTEUS
Except thou wilt except against my love.
Have I not reason to prefer mine own?VALENTINE
And I will help thee to prefer her too:PROTEUS
She shall be dignified with this high honour--
To bear my lady's train, lest the base earth
Should from her vesture chance to steal a kiss
And, of so great a favour growing proud,
Disdain to root the summer-swelling flower
And make rough winter everlastingly.
Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this?VALENTINE
Pardon me, Proteus: all I can is nothingPROTEUS
To her whose worth makes other worthies nothing;
She is alone.
Then let her alone.VALENTINE
Not for the world: why, man, she is mine own,PROTEUS
And I as rich in having such a jewel
As twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl,
The water nectar and the rocks pure gold.
Forgive me that I do not dream on thee,
Because thou see'st me dote upon my love.
My foolish rival, that her father likes
Only for his possessions are so huge,
Is gone with her along, and I must after,
For love, thou know'st, is full of jealousy.
But she loves you?VALENTINE
Ay, and we are betroth'd: nay, more, our,PROTEUS
With all the cunning manner of our flight,
Determined of; how I must climb her window,
The ladder made of cords, and all the means
Plotted and 'greed on for my happiness.
Good Proteus, go with me to my chamber,
In these affairs to aid me with thy counsel.
Go on before; I shall inquire you forth:VALENTINE
I must unto the road, to disembark
Some necessaries that I needs must use,
And then I'll presently attend you.
Will you make haste?PROTEUS
Exit VALENTINEEven as one heat another heat expels,
Or as one nail by strength drives out another,
So the remembrance of my former love
Is by a newer object quite forgotten.
Is it mine, or Valentine's praise,
Her true perfection, or my false transgression,
That makes me reasonless to reason thus?
She is fair; and so is Julia that I love--
That I did love, for now my love is thaw'd;
Which, like a waxen image, 'gainst a fire,
Bears no impression of the thing it was.
Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold,
And that I love him not as I was wont.
O, but I love his lady too too much,
And that's the reason I love him so little.
How shall I dote on her with more advice,
That thus without advice begin to love her!
'Tis but her picture I have yet beheld,
And that hath dazzled my reason's light;
But when I look on her perfections,
There is no reason but I shall be blind.
If I can cheque my erring love, I will;
If not, to compass her I'll use my skill.
Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severallySPEED
Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!LAUNCE
Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am notSPEED
welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess
Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with youLAUNCE
presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
did thy master part with Madam Julia?
Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted verySPEED
fairly in jest.
But shall she marry him?LAUNCE
How then? shall he marry her?LAUNCE
What, are they broken?LAUNCE
No, they are both as whole as a fish.SPEED
Why, then, how stands the matter with them?LAUNCE
Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, itSPEED
stands well with her.
What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.LAUNCE
What a block art thou, that thou canst not! MySPEED
staff understands me.
What thou sayest?LAUNCE
Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,SPEED
and my staff understands me.
It stands under thee, indeed.LAUNCE
Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.SPEED
But tell me true, will't be a match?LAUNCE
Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,SPEED
it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
The conclusion is then that it will.LAUNCE
Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.SPEED
'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayestLAUNCE
thou, that my master is become a notable lover?
I never knew him otherwise.SPEED
A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.SPEED
Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.LAUNCE
Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.SPEED
I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.LAUNCE
Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himselfSPEED
in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the
name of a Christian.
Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as toSPEED
go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
At thy service.
To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn;
To love fair Silvia, shall I be forsworn;
To wrong my friend, I shall be much forsworn;
And even that power which gave me first my oath
Provokes me to this threefold perjury;
Love bade me swear and Love bids me forswear.
O sweet-suggesting Love, if thou hast sinned,
Teach me, thy tempted subject, to excuse it!
At first I did adore a twinkling star,
But now I worship a celestial sun.
Unheedful vows may heedfully be broken,
And he wants wit that wants resolved will
To learn his wit to exchange the bad for better.
Fie, fie, unreverend tongue! to call her bad,
Whose sovereignty so oft thou hast preferr'd
With twenty thousand soul-confirming oaths.
I cannot leave to love, and yet I do;
But there I leave to love where I should love.
Julia I lose and Valentine I lose:
If I keep them, I needs must lose myself;
If I lose them, thus find I by their loss
For Valentine myself, for Julia Silvia.
I to myself am dearer than a friend,
For love is still most precious in itself;
And Silvia--witness Heaven, that made her fair!--
Shows Julia but a swarthy Ethiope.
I will forget that Julia is alive,
Remembering that my love to her is dead;
And Valentine I'll hold an enemy,
Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend.
I cannot now prove constant to myself,
Without some treachery used to Valentine.
This night he meaneth with a corded ladder
To climb celestial Silvia's chamber-window,
Myself in counsel, his competitor.
Now presently I'll give her father notice
Of their disguising and pretended flight;
Who, all enraged, will banish Valentine;
For Thurio, he intends, shall wed his daughter;
But, Valentine being gone, I'll quickly cross
By some sly trick blunt Thurio's dull proceeding.
Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift,
As thou hast lent me wit to plot this drift!
Enter JULIA and LUCETTAJULIA
Counsel, Lucetta; gentle girl, assist me;LUCETTA
And even in kind love I do conjure thee,
Who art the table wherein all my thoughts
Are visibly character'd and engraved,
To lesson me and tell me some good mean
How, with my honour, I may undertake
A journey to my loving Proteus.
Alas, the way is wearisome and long!JULIA
A true-devoted pilgrim is not wearyLUCETTA
To measure kingdoms with his feeble steps;
Much less shall she that hath Love's wings to fly,
And when the flight is made to one so dear,
Of such divine perfection, as Sir Proteus.
Better forbear till Proteus make return.JULIA
O, know'st thou not his looks are my soul's food?LUCETTA
Pity the dearth that I have pined in,
By longing for that food so long a time.
Didst thou but know the inly touch of love,
Thou wouldst as soon go kindle fire with snow
As seek to quench the fire of love with words.
I do not seek to quench your love's hot fire,JULIA
But qualify the fire's extreme rage,
Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason.
The more thou damm'st it up, the more it burns.LUCETTA
The current that with gentle murmur glides,
Thou know'st, being stopp'd, impatiently doth rage;
But when his fair course is not hindered,
He makes sweet music with the enamell'ed stones,
Giving a gentle kiss to every sedge
He overtaketh in his pilgrimage,
And so by many winding nooks he strays
With willing sport to the wild ocean.
Then let me go and hinder not my course
I'll be as patient as a gentle stream
And make a pastime of each weary step,
Till the last step have brought me to my love;
And there I'll rest, as after much turmoil
A blessed soul doth in Elysium.
But in what habit will you go along?JULIA
Not like a woman; for I would preventLUCETTA
The loose encounters of lascivious men:
Gentle Lucetta, fit me with such weeds
As may beseem some well-reputed page.
Why, then, your ladyship must cut your hair.JULIA
No, girl, I'll knit it up in silken stringsLUCETTA
With twenty odd-conceited true-love knots.
To be fantastic may become a youth
Of greater time than I shall show to be.
What fashion, madam shall I make your breeches?JULIA
That fits as well as 'Tell me, good my lord,LUCETTA
What compass will you wear your farthingale?'
Why even what fashion thou best likest, Lucetta.
You must needs have them with a codpiece, madam.JULIA
Out, out, Lucetta! that would be ill-favour'd.LUCETTA
A round hose, madam, now's not worth a pin,JULIA
Unless you have a codpiece to stick pins on.
Lucetta, as thou lovest me, let me haveLUCETTA
What thou thinkest meet and is most mannerly.
But tell me, wench, how will the world repute me
For undertaking so unstaid a journey?
I fear me, it will make me scandalized.
If you think so, then stay at home and go not.JULIA
Nay, that I will not.LUCETTA
Then never dream on infamy, but go.JULIA
If Proteus like your journey when you come,
No matter who's displeased when you are gone:
I fear me, he will scarce be pleased withal.
That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear:LUCETTA
A thousand oaths, an ocean of his tears
And instances of infinite of love
Warrant me welcome to my Proteus.
All these are servants to deceitful men.JULIA
Base men, that use them to so base effect!LUCETTA
But truer stars did govern Proteus' birth
His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles,
His love sincere, his thoughts immaculate,
His tears pure messengers sent from his heart,
His heart as far from fraud as heaven from earth.
Pray heaven he prove so, when you come to him!JULIA
Now, as thou lovest me, do him not that wrong
To bear a hard opinion of his truth:
Only deserve my love by loving him;
And presently go with me to my chamber,
To take a note of what I stand in need of,
To furnish me upon my longing journey.
All that is mine I leave at thy dispose,
My goods, my lands, my reputation;
Only, in lieu thereof, dispatch me hence.
Come, answer not, but to it presently!
I am impatient of my tarriance.
Enter DUKE, THURIO, and PROTEUSDUKE
Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile;PROTEUS
We have some secrets to confer about.
Exit THURIONow, tell me, Proteus, what's your will with me?
My gracious lord, that which I would discoverDUKE
The law of friendship bids me to conceal;
But when I call to mind your gracious favours
Done to me, undeserving as I am,
My duty pricks me on to utter that
Which else no worldly good should draw from me.
Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine, my friend,
This night intends to steal away your daughter:
Myself am one made privy to the plot.
I know you have determined to bestow her
On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates;
And should she thus be stol'n away from you,
It would be much vexation to your age.
Thus, for my duty's sake, I rather chose
To cross my friend in his intended drift
Than, by concealing it, heap on your head
A pack of sorrows which would press you down,
Being unprevented, to your timeless grave.
Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care;PROTEUS
Which to requite, command me while I live.
This love of theirs myself have often seen,
Haply when they have judged me fast asleep,
And oftentimes have purposed to forbid
Sir Valentine her company and my court:
But fearing lest my jealous aim might err
And so unworthily disgrace the man,
A rashness that I ever yet have shunn'd,
I gave him gentle looks, thereby to find
That which thyself hast now disclosed to me.
And, that thou mayst perceive my fear of this,
Knowing that tender youth is soon suggested,
I nightly lodge her in an upper tower,
The key whereof myself have ever kept;
And thence she cannot be convey'd away.
Know, noble lord, they have devised a meanDUKE
How he her chamber-window will ascend
And with a corded ladder fetch her down;
For which the youthful lover now is gone
And this way comes he with it presently;
Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.
But, good my Lord, do it so cunningly
That my discovery be not aimed at;
For love of you, not hate unto my friend,
Hath made me publisher of this pretence.
Upon mine honour, he shall never knowPROTEUS
That I had any light from thee of this.
Adieu, my Lord; Sir Valentine is coming.DUKE
Sir Valentine, whither away so fast?VALENTINE
Please it your grace, there is a messengerDUKE
That stays to bear my letters to my friends,
And I am going to deliver them.
Be they of much import?VALENTINE
The tenor of them doth but signifyDUKE
My health and happy being at your court.
Nay then, no matter; stay with me awhile;VALENTINE
I am to break with thee of some affairs
That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret.
'Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought
To match my friend Sir Thurio to my daughter.
I know it well, my Lord; and, sure, the matchDUKE
Were rich and honourable; besides, the gentleman
Is full of virtue, bounty, worth and qualities
Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter:
Cannot your Grace win her to fancy him?
No, trust me; she is peevish, sullen, froward,VALENTINE
Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty,
Neither regarding that she is my child
Nor fearing me as if I were her father;
And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers,
Upon advice, hath drawn my love from her;
And, where I thought the remnant of mine age
Should have been cherish'd by her child-like duty,
I now am full resolved to take a wife
And turn her out to who will take her in:
Then let her beauty be her wedding-dower;
For me and my possessions she esteems not.
What would your Grace have me to do in this?DUKE
There is a lady in Verona hereVALENTINE
Whom I affect; but she is nice and coy
And nought esteems my aged eloquence:
Now therefore would I have thee to my tutor--
For long agone I have forgot to court;
Besides, the fashion of the time is changed--
How and which way I may bestow myself
To be regarded in her sun-bright eye.
Win her with gifts, if she respect not words:DUKE
Dumb jewels often in their silent kind
More than quick words do move a woman's mind.
But she did scorn a present that I sent her.VALENTINE
A woman sometimes scorns what best contents her.DUKE
Send her another; never give her o'er;
For scorn at first makes after-love the more.
If she do frown, 'tis not in hate of you,
But rather to beget more love in you:
If she do chide, 'tis not to have you gone;
For why, the fools are mad, if left alone.
Take no repulse, whatever she doth say;
For 'get you gone,' she doth not mean 'away!'
Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces;
Though ne'er so black, say they have angels' faces.
That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man,
If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.
But she I mean is promised by her friendsVALENTINE
Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,
And kept severely from resort of men,
That no man hath access by day to her.
Why, then, I would resort to her by night.DUKE
Ay, but the doors be lock'd and keys kept safe,VALENTINE
That no man hath recourse to her by night.
What lets but one may enter at her window?DUKE
Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,VALENTINE
And built so shelving that one cannot climb it
Without apparent hazard of his life.
Why then, a ladder quaintly made of cords,DUKE
To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,
Would serve to scale another Hero's tower,
So bold Leander would adventure it.
Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,VALENTINE
Advise me where I may have such a ladder.
When would you use it? pray, sir, tell me that.DUKE
This very night; for Love is like a child,VALENTINE
That longs for every thing that he can come by.
By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder.DUKE
But, hark thee; I will go to her alone:VALENTINE
How shall I best convey the ladder thither?
It will be light, my lord, that you may bear itDUKE
Under a cloak that is of any length.
A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?VALENTINE
Ay, my good lord.DUKE
Then let me see thy cloak:VALENTINE
I'll get me one of such another length.
Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.DUKE
How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?VALENTINE
I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.
What letter is this same? What's here? 'To Silvia'!
And here an engine fit for my proceeding.
I'll be so bold to break the seal for once.
Reads'My thoughts do harbour with my Silvia nightly,
And slaves they are to me that send them flying:
O, could their master come and go as lightly,
Himself would lodge where senseless they are lying!
My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them:
While I, their king, that hither them importune,
Do curse the grace that with such grace hath bless'd them,
Because myself do want my servants' fortune:
I curse myself, for they are sent by me,
That they should harbour where their lord would be.'
'Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee.'
'Tis so; and here's the ladder for the purpose.
Why, Phaeton,--for thou art Merops' son,--
Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car
And with thy daring folly burn the world?
Wilt thou reach stars, because they shine on thee?
Go, base intruder! overweening slave!
Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,
And think my patience, more than thy desert,
Is privilege for thy departure hence:
Thank me for this more than for all the favours
Which all too much I have bestow'd on thee.
But if thou linger in my territories
Longer than swiftest expedition
Will give thee time to leave our royal court,
By heaven! my wrath shall far exceed the love
I ever bore my daughter or thyself.
Be gone! I will not hear thy vain excuse;
But, as thou lovest thy life, make speed from hence.
And why not death rather than living torment?PROTEUS
To die is to be banish'd from myself;
And Silvia is myself: banish'd from her
Is self from self: a deadly banishment!
What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?
What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?
Unless it be to think that she is by
And feed upon the shadow of perfection
Except I be by Silvia in the night,
There is no music in the nightingale;
Unless I look on Silvia in the day,
There is no day for me to look upon;
She is my essence, and I leave to be,
If I be not by her fair influence
Foster'd, illumined, cherish'd, kept alive.
I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom:
Tarry I here, I but attend on death:
But, fly I hence, I fly away from life.
Enter PROTEUS and LAUNCE
Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.LAUNCE
What seest thou?LAUNCE
Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's headPROTEUS
but 'tis a Valentine.
Who then? his spirit?VALENTINE
Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?PROTEUS
Who wouldst thou strike?LAUNCE
Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray you,--PROTEUS
Sirrah, I say, forbear. Friend Valentine, a word.VALENTINE
My ears are stopt and cannot hear good news,PROTEUS
So much of bad already hath possess'd them.
Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,VALENTINE
For they are harsh, untuneable and bad.
Is Silvia dead?PROTEUS
No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia.PROTEUS
Hath she forsworn me?
No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.LAUNCE
What is your news?
Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.PROTEUS
That thou art banished--O, that's the news!--VALENTINE
From hence, from Silvia and from me thy friend.
O, I have fed upon this woe already,PROTEUS
And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
Doth Silvia know that I am banished?
Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom--VALENTINE
Which, unreversed, stands in effectual force--
A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears:
Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd;
With them, upon her knees, her humble self;
Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
As if but now they waxed pale for woe:
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears,
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;
But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chafed him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
That to close prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of biding there.
No more; unless the next word that thou speak'stPROTEUS
Have some malignant power upon my life:
If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
As ending anthem of my endless dolour.
Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,VALENTINE
And study help for that which thou lament'st.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love;
Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that
And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence;
Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
The time now serves not to expostulate:
Come, I'll convey thee through the city-gate;
And, ere I part with thee, confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love-affairs.
As thou lovest Silvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me!
I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy,PROTEUS
Bid him make haste and meet me at the North-gate.
Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.VALENTINE
O my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!LAUNCE
Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS
I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit toSPEED
think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's
all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now
that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a
team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who
'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I
will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet
'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis
a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for
wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel;
which is much in a bare Christian.
Pulling out a paperHere is the cate-log of her condition.
'Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse
can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
carry; therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item:
She can milk;' look you, a sweet virtue in a maid
with clean hands.
How now, Signior Launce! what news with yourLAUNCE
With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.SPEED
Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. WhatLAUNCE
news, then, in your paper?
The blackest news that ever thou heardest.SPEED
Why, man, how black?LAUNCE
Why, as black as ink.SPEED
Let me read them.LAUNCE
Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read.SPEED
Thou liest; I can.LAUNCE
I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?SPEED
Marry, the son of my grandfather.LAUNCE
O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thySPEED
grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.
Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.LAUNCE
There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed!SPEED
[Reads] 'Imprimis: She can milk.'LAUNCE
Ay, that she can.SPEED
'Item: She brews good ale.'LAUNCE
And thereof comes the proverb: 'Blessing of yourSPEED
heart, you brew good ale.'
'Item: She can sew.'LAUNCE
That's as much as to say, Can she so?SPEED
'Item: She can knit.'LAUNCE
What need a man care for a stock with a wench, whenSPEED
she can knit him a stock?
'Item: She can wash and scour.'LAUNCE
A special virtue: for then she need not be washedSPEED
'Item: She can spin.'LAUNCE
Then may I set the world on wheels, when she canSPEED
spin for her living.
'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'LAUNCE
That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that,SPEED
indeed, know not their fathers and therefore have no names.
'Here follow her vices.'LAUNCE
Close at the heels of her virtues.SPEED
'Item: She is not to be kissed fasting in respectLAUNCE
of her breath.'
Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.SPEED
'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'LAUNCE
That makes amends for her sour breath.SPEED
'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'LAUNCE
It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.SPEED
'Item: She is slow in words.'LAUNCE
O villain, that set this down among her vices! ToSPEED
be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray
thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.
'Item: She is proud.'LAUNCE
Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannotSPEED
be ta'en from her.
'Item: She hath no teeth.'LAUNCE
I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.SPEED
'Item: She is curst.'LAUNCE
Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.SPEED
'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'LAUNCE
If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, ISPEED
will; for good things should be praised.
'Item: She is too liberal.'LAUNCE
Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down sheSPEED
is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that
I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and
that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faultsLAUNCE
than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'
Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and notSPEED
mine, twice or thrice in that last article.
Rehearse that once more.
'Item: She hath more hair than wit,'--LAUNCE
More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. TheSPEED
cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it
is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit
is more than the wit, for the greater hides the
less. What's next?
'And more faults than hairs,'--LAUNCE
That's monstrous: O, that that were out!SPEED
'And more wealth than faults.'LAUNCE
Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,SPEED
I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is
Why, then will I tell thee--that thy master staysSPEED
for thee at the North-gate.
For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for aSPEED
better man than thee.
And must I go to him?LAUNCE
Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so longSPEED
that going will scarce serve the turn.
Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your love letters!LAUNCE
Now will he be swinged for reading my letter; an
unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into
secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
Enter DUKE and THURIODUKE
Sir Thurio, fear not but that she will love you,THURIO
Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight.
Since his exile she hath despised me most,DUKE
Forsworn my company and rail'd at me,
That I am desperate of obtaining her.
This weak impress of love is as a figurePROTEUS
Trenched in ice, which with an hour's heat
Dissolves to water and doth lose his form.
A little time will melt her frozen thoughts
And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.
Enter PROTEUSHow now, Sir Proteus! Is your countryman
According to our proclamation gone?
Gone, my good lord.DUKE
My daughter takes his going grievously.PROTEUS
A little time, my lord, will kill that grief.DUKE
So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.PROTEUS
Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee--
For thou hast shown some sign of good desert--
Makes me the better to confer with thee.
Longer than I prove loyal to your graceDUKE
Let me not live to look upon your grace.
Thou know'st how willingly I would effectPROTEUS
The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter.
I do, my lord.DUKE
And also, I think, thou art not ignorantPROTEUS
How she opposes her against my will
She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.DUKE
Ay, and perversely she persevers so.PROTEUS
What might we do to make the girl forget
The love of Valentine and love Sir Thurio?
The best way is to slander ValentineDUKE
With falsehood, cowardice and poor descent,
Three things that women highly hold in hate.
Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate.PROTEUS
Ay, if his enemy deliver it:DUKE
Therefore it must with circumstance be spoken
By one whom she esteemeth as his friend.
Then you must undertake to slander him.PROTEUS
And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do:DUKE
'Tis an ill office for a gentleman,
Especially against his very friend.
Where your good word cannot advantage him,PROTEUS
Your slander never can endamage him;
Therefore the office is indifferent,
Being entreated to it by your friend.
You have prevail'd, my lord; if I can do itTHURIO
By ought that I can speak in his dispraise,
She shall not long continue love to him.
But say this weed her love from Valentine,
It follows not that she will love Sir Thurio.
Therefore, as you unwind her love from him,DUKE
Lest it should ravel and be good to none,
You must provide to bottom it on me;
Which must be done by praising me as much
As you in worth dispraise Sir Valentine.
And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind,PROTEUS
Because we know, on Valentine's report,
You are already Love's firm votary
And cannot soon revolt and change your mind.
Upon this warrant shall you have access
Where you with Silvia may confer at large;
For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,
And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you;
Where you may temper her by your persuasion
To hate young Valentine and love my friend.
As much as I can do, I will effect:DUKE
But you, Sir Thurio, are not sharp enough;
You must lay lime to tangle her desires
By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes
Should be full-fraught with serviceable vows.
Much is the force of heaven-bred poesy.
Say that upon the altar of her beautyDUKE
You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart:
Write till your ink be dry, and with your tears
Moist it again, and frame some feeling line
That may discover such integrity:
For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews,
Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones,
Make tigers tame and huge leviathans
Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands.
After your dire-lamenting elegies,
Visit by night your lady's chamber-window
With some sweet concert; to their instruments
Tune a deploring dump: the night's dead silence
Will well become such sweet-complaining grievance.
This, or else nothing, will inherit her.
This discipline shows thou hast been in love.THURIO
And thy advice this night I'll put in practise.DUKE
Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver,
Let us into the city presently
To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music.
I have a sonnet that will serve the turn
To give the onset to thy good advice.
About it, gentlemen!PROTEUS
We'll wait upon your grace till after supper,DUKE
And afterward determine our proceedings.
Even now about it! I will pardon you.
Enter certain OutlawsFirst Outlaw
Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger.Second Outlaw
If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em.Third Outlaw
Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about ye:SPEED
If not: we'll make you sit and rifle you.
Sir, we are undone; these are the villainsVALENTINE
That all the travellers do fear so much.
My friends,--First Outlaw
That's not so, sir: we are your enemies.Second Outlaw
Peace! we'll hear him.Third Outlaw
Ay, by my beard, will we, for he's a proper man.VALENTINE
Then know that I have little wealth to lose:Second Outlaw
A man I am cross'd with adversity;
My riches are these poor habiliments,
Of which if you should here disfurnish me,
You take the sum and substance that I have.
Whither travel you?VALENTINE
To Verona.First Outlaw
Whence came you?VALENTINE
From Milan.Third Outlaw
Have you long sojourned there?VALENTINE
Some sixteen months, and longer might have stay'd,First Outlaw
If crooked fortune had not thwarted me.
What, were you banish'd thence?VALENTINE
I was.Second Outlaw
For what offence?VALENTINE
For that which now torments me to rehearse:First Outlaw
I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent;
Bu t yet I slew him manfully in fight,
Without false vantage or base treachery.
Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so.VALENTINE
But were you banish'd for so small a fault?
I was, and held me glad of such a doom.Second Outlaw
Have you the tongues?VALENTINE
My youthful travel therein made me happy,Third Outlaw
Or else I often had been miserable.
By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar,First Outlaw
This fellow were a king for our wild faction!
We'll have him. Sirs, a word.SPEED
Master, be one of them; it's an honourable kind of thievery.VALENTINE
Peace, villain!Second Outlaw
Tell us this: have you any thing to take to?VALENTINE
Nothing but my fortune.Third Outlaw
Know, then, that some of us are gentlemen,Second Outlaw
Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth
Thrust from the company of awful men:
Myself was from Verona banished
For practising to steal away a lady,
An heir, and near allied unto the duke.
And I from Mantua, for a gentleman,First Outlaw
Who, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart.
And I for such like petty crimes as these,Second Outlaw
But to the purpose--for we cite our faults,
That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives;
And partly, seeing you are beautified
With goodly shape and by your own report
A linguist and a man of such perfection
As we do in our quality much want--
Indeed, because you are a banish'd man,Third Outlaw
Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you:
Are you content to be our general?
To make a virtue of necessity
And live, as we do, in this wilderness?
What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our consort?First Outlaw
Say ay, and be the captain of us all:
We'll do thee homage and be ruled by thee,
Love thee as our commander and our king.
But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest.Second Outlaw
Thou shalt not live to brag what we have offer'd.VALENTINE
I take your offer and will live with you,Third Outlaw
Provided that you do no outrages
On silly women or poor passengers.
No, we detest such vile base practises.
Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews,
And show thee all the treasure we have got,
Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose.
Already have I been false to ValentineTHURIO
And now I must be as unjust to Thurio.
Under the colour of commending him,
I have access my own love to prefer:
But Silvia is too fair, too true, too holy,
To be corrupted with my worthless gifts.
When I protest true loyalty to her,
She twits me with my falsehood to my friend;
When to her beauty I commend my vows,
She bids me think how I have been forsworn
In breaking faith with Julia whom I loved:
And notwithstanding all her sudden quips,
The least whereof would quell a lover's hope,
Yet, spaniel-like, the more she spurns my love,
The more it grows and fawneth on her still.
But here comes Thurio: now must we to her window,
And give some evening music to her ear.
Enter THURIO and Musicians
How now, Sir Proteus, are you crept before us?PROTEUS
Ay, gentle Thurio: for you know that loveTHURIO
Will creep in service where it cannot go.
Ay, but I hope, sir, that you love not here.PROTEUS
Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence.THURIO
Ay, Silvia; for your sake.THURIO
I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen,Host
Let's tune, and to it lustily awhile.
Enter, at a distance, Host, and JULIA in boy's clothes
Now, my young guest, methinks you're allycholly: IJULIA
pray you, why is it?
Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry.Host
Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you whereJULIA
you shall hear music and see the gentleman that you asked for.
But shall I hear him speak?Host
Ay, that you shall.JULIA
That will be music.Host
Is he among these?Host
Ay: but, peace! let's hear 'em.Host
Who is Silvia? what is she,
That all our swains commend her?
Holy, fair and wise is she;
The heaven such grace did lend her,
That she might admired be.
Is she kind as she is fair?
For beauty lives with kindness.
Love doth to her eyes repair,
To help him of his blindness,
And, being help'd, inhabits there.
Then to Silvia let us sing,
That Silvia is excelling;
She excels each mortal thing
Upon the dull earth dwelling:
To her let us garlands bring.
How now! are you sadder than you were before? HowJULIA
do you, man? the music likes you not.
You mistake; the musician likes me not.Host
Why, my pretty youth?JULIA
He plays false, father.Host
How? out of tune on the strings?JULIA
Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my veryHost
You have a quick ear.JULIA
Ay, I would I were deaf; it makes me have a slow heart.Host
I perceive you delight not in music.JULIA
Not a whit, when it jars so.Host
Hark, what fine change is in the music!JULIA
Ay, that change is the spite.Host
You would have them always play but one thing?JULIA
I would always have one play but one thing.Host
But, host, doth this Sir Proteus that we talk on
Often resort unto this gentlewoman?
I tell you what Launce, his man, told me: he lovedJULIA
her out of all nick.
Where is Launce?Host
Gone to seek his dog; which tomorrow, by hisJULIA
master's command, he must carry for a present to his lady.
Peace! stand aside: the company parts.PROTEUS
Sir Thurio, fear not you: I will so pleadTHURIO
That you shall say my cunning drift excels.
Where meet we?PROTEUS
At Saint Gregory's well.THURIO
Exeunt THURIO and Musicians
Enter SILVIA above
Madam, good even to your ladyship.SILVIA
I thank you for your music, gentlemen.PROTEUS
Who is that that spake?
One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth,SILVIA
You would quickly learn to know him by his voice.
Sir Proteus, as I take it.PROTEUS
Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant.SILVIA
What's your will?PROTEUS
That I may compass yours.SILVIA
You have your wish; my will is even this:PROTEUS
That presently you hie you home to bed.
Thou subtle, perjured, false, disloyal man!
Think'st thou I am so shallow, so conceitless,
To be seduced by thy flattery,
That hast deceived so many with thy vows?
Return, return, and make thy love amends.
For me, by this pale queen of night I swear,
I am so far from granting thy request
That I despise thee for thy wrongful suit,
And by and by intend to chide myself
Even for this time I spend in talking to thee.
I grant, sweet love, that I did love a lady;JULIA
But she is dead.
[Aside] 'Twere false, if I should speak it;SILVIA
For I am sure she is not buried.
Say that she be; yet Valentine thy friendPROTEUS
Survives; to whom, thyself art witness,
I am betroth'd: and art thou not ashamed
To wrong him with thy importunacy?
I likewise hear that Valentine is dead.SILVIA
And so suppose am I; for in his gravePROTEUS
Assure thyself my love is buried.
Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth.SILVIA
Go to thy lady's grave and call hers thence,JULIA
Or, at the least, in hers sepulchre thine.
[Aside] He heard not that.PROTEUS
Madam, if your heart be so obdurate,JULIA
Vouchsafe me yet your picture for my love,
The picture that is hanging in your chamber;
To that I'll speak, to that I'll sigh and weep:
For since the substance of your perfect self
Is else devoted, I am but a shadow;
And to your shadow will I make true love.
[Aside] If 'twere a substance, you would, sure,SILVIA
And make it but a shadow, as I am.
I am very loath to be your idol, sir;PROTEUS
But since your falsehood shall become you well
To worship shadows and adore false shapes,
Send to me in the morning and I'll send it:
And so, good rest.
As wretches have o'ernightJULIA
That wait for execution in the morn.
Exeunt PROTEUS and SILVIA severally
Host, will you go?Host
By my halidom, I was fast asleep.JULIA
Pray you, where lies Sir Proteus?Host
Marry, at my house. Trust me, I think 'tis almostJULIA
Not so; but it hath been the longest night
That e'er I watch'd and the most heaviest.
This is the hour that Madam SilviaSILVIA
Entreated me to call and know her mind:
There's some great matter she'ld employ me in.
Enter SILVIA above
Your servant and your friend;SILVIA
One that attends your ladyship's command.
Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good morrow.EGLAMOUR
As many, worthy lady, to yourself:SILVIA
According to your ladyship's impose,
I am thus early come to know what service
It is your pleasure to command me in.
O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman--EGLAMOUR
Think not I flatter, for I swear I do not--
Valiant, wise, remorseful, well accomplish'd:
Thou art not ignorant what dear good will
I bear unto the banish'd Valentine,
Nor how my father would enforce me marry
Vain Thurio, whom my very soul abhors.
Thyself hast loved; and I have heard thee say
No grief did ever come so near thy heart
As when thy lady and thy true love died,
Upon whose grave thou vow'dst pure chastity.
Sir Eglamour, I would to Valentine,
To Mantua, where I hear he makes abode;
And, for the ways are dangerous to pass,
I do desire thy worthy company,
Upon whose faith and honour I repose.
Urge not my father's anger, Eglamour,
But think upon my grief, a lady's grief,
And on the justice of my flying hence,
To keep me from a most unholy match,
Which heaven and fortune still rewards with plagues.
I do desire thee, even from a heart
As full of sorrows as the sea of sands,
To bear me company and go with me:
If not, to hide what I have said to thee,
That I may venture to depart alone.
Madam, I pity much your grievances;SILVIA
Which since I know they virtuously are placed,
I give consent to go along with you,
Recking as little what betideth me
As much I wish all good befortune you.
When will you go?
This evening coming.EGLAMOUR
Where shall I meet you?SILVIA
At Friar Patrick's cell,EGLAMOUR
Where I intend holy confession.
I will not fail your ladyship. Good morrow, gentle lady.SILVIA
Good morrow, kind Sir Eglamour.
Enter LAUNCE, with his his DogLAUNCE
When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,PROTEUS
look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a
puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or
four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it.
I have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
'thus I would teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver
him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master;
and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he
steps me to her trencher and steals her capon's leg:
O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself
in all companies! I would have, as one should say,
one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be,
as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had
more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did,
I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I
live, he had suffered for't; you shall judge. He
thrusts me himself into the company of three or four
gentlemanlike dogs under the duke's table: he had
not been there--bless the mark!--a pissing while, but
all the chamber smelt him. 'Out with the dog!' says
one: 'What cur is that?' says another: 'Whip him
out' says the third: 'Hang him up' says the duke.
I, having been acquainted with the smell before,
knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that
whips the dogs: 'Friend,' quoth I, 'you mean to whip
the dog?' 'Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. 'You do him
the more wrong,' quoth I; ''twas I did the thing you
wot of.' He makes me no more ado, but whips me out
of the chamber. How many masters would do this for
his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't.
Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the
trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam
Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
do? when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
thou ever see me do such a trick?
Enter PROTEUS and JULIA
Sebastian is thy name? I like thee wellJULIA
And will employ thee in some service presently.
In what you please: I'll do what I can.PROTEUS
I hope thou wilt.LAUNCE
To LAUNCEHow now, you whoreson peasant!
Where have you been these two days loitering?
Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.PROTEUS
And what says she to my little jewel?LAUNCE
Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells youPROTEUS
currish thanks is good enough for such a present.
But she received my dog?LAUNCE
No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought himPROTEUS
What, didst thou offer her this from me?LAUNCE
Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me byPROTEUS
the hangman boys in the market-place: and then I
offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of
yours, and therefore the gift the greater.
Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,JULIA
Or ne'er return again into my sight.
Away, I say! stay'st thou to vex me here?
Exit LAUNCEA slave, that still an end turns me to shame!
Sebastian, I have entertained thee,
Partly that I have need of such a youth
That can with some discretion do my business,
For 'tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
Which, if my augury deceive me not,
Witness good bringing up, fortune and truth:
Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
Go presently and take this ring with thee,
Deliver it to Madam Silvia:
She loved me well deliver'd it to me.
It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.PROTEUS
She is dead, belike?
Not so; I think she lives.JULIA
Why dost thou cry 'alas'?JULIA
I cannot choosePROTEUS
But pity her.
Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?JULIA
Because methinks that she loved you as wellPROTEUS
As you do love your lady Silvia:
She dreams of him that has forgot her love;
You dote on her that cares not for your love.
'Tis pity love should be so contrary;
And thinking of it makes me cry 'alas!'
Well, give her that ring and therewithalJULIA
This letter. That's her chamber. Tell my lady
I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.
Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.
How many women would do such a message?SILVIA
Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertain'd
A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.
Alas, poor fool! why do I pity him
That with his very heart despiseth me?
Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
Because I love him I must pity him.
This ring I gave him when he parted from me,
To bind him to remember my good will;
And now am I, unhappy messenger,
To plead for that which I would not obtain,
To carry that which I would have refused,
To praise his faith which I would have dispraised.
I am my master's true-confirmed love;
But cannot be true servant to my master,
Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.
Enter SILVIA, attendedGentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean
To bring me where to speak with Madam Silvia.
What would you with her, if that I be she?JULIA
If you be she, I do entreat your patienceSILVIA
To hear me speak the message I am sent on.
From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.SILVIA
O, he sends you for a picture.JULIA
Ursula, bring my picture here.JULIA
Go give your master this: tell him from me,
One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.
Madam, please you peruse this letter.--SILVIA
Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised
Deliver'd you a paper that I should not:
This is the letter to your ladyship.
I pray thee, let me look on that again.JULIA
It may not be; good madam, pardon me.SILVIA
I will not look upon your master's lines:
I know they are stuff'd with protestations
And full of new-found oaths; which he will break
As easily as I do tear his paper.
Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.SILVIA
The more shame for him that he sends it me;JULIA
For I have heard him say a thousand times
His Julia gave it him at his departure.
Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.
She thanks you.SILVIA
What say'st thou?JULIA
I thank you, madam, that you tender her.SILVIA
Poor gentlewoman! my master wrongs her much.
Dost thou know her?JULIA
Almost as well as I do know myself:SILVIA
To think upon her woes I do protest
That I have wept a hundred several times.
Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.JULIA
I think she doth; and that's her cause of sorrow.SILVIA
Is she not passing fair?JULIA
She hath been fairer, madam, than she is:SILVIA
When she did think my master loved her well,
She, in my judgment, was as fair as you:
But since she did neglect her looking-glass
And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face,
That now she is become as black as I.
How tall was she?JULIA
About my stature; for at Pentecost,SILVIA
When all our pageants of delight were play'd,
Our youth got me to play the woman's part,
And I was trimm'd in Madam Julia's gown,
Which served me as fit, by all men's judgments,
As if the garment had been made for me:
Therefore I know she is about my height.
And at that time I made her weep agood,
For I did play a lamentable part:
Madam, 'twas Ariadne passioning
For Theseus' perjury and unjust flight;
Which I so lively acted with my tears
That my poor mistress, moved therewithal,
Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!
She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.JULIA
Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
I weep myself to think upon thy words.
Here, youth, there is my purse; I give thee this
For thy sweet mistress' sake, because thou lovest her.
Exit SILVIA, with attendants
And she shall thank you for't, if e'er you know her.
A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful
I hope my master's suit will be but cold,
Since she respects my mistress' love so much.
Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
Here is her picture: let me see; I think,
If I had such a tire, this face of mine
Were full as lovely as is this of hers:
And yet the painter flatter'd her a little,
Unless I flatter with myself too much.
Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow:
If that be all the difference in his love,
I'll get me such a colour'd periwig.
Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine:
Ay, but her forehead's low, and mine's as high.
What should it be that he respects in her
But I can make respective in myself,
If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
Come, shadow, come and take this shadow up,
For 'tis thy rival. O thou senseless form,
Thou shalt be worshipp'd, kiss'd, loved and adored!
And, were there sense in his idolatry,
My substance should be statue in thy stead.
I'll use thee kindly for thy mistress' sake,
That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
I should have scratch'd out your unseeing eyes
To make my master out of love with thee!
The sun begins to gild the western sky;SILVIA
And now it is about the very hour
That Silvia, at Friar Patrick's cell, should meet me.
She will not fail, for lovers break not hours,
Unless it be to come before their time;
So much they spur their expedition.
See where she comes.
Enter SILVIALady, a happy evening!
Amen, amen! Go on, good Eglamour,EGLAMOUR
Out at the postern by the abbey-wall:
I fear I am attended by some spies.
Fear not: the forest is not three leagues off;
If we recover that, we are sure enough.
Enter THURIO, PROTEUS, and JULIATHURIO
Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit?PROTEUS
O, sir, I find her milder than she was;THURIO
And yet she takes exceptions at your person.
What, that my leg is too long?PROTEUS
No; that it is too little.THURIO
I'll wear a boot, to make it somewhat rounder.JULIA
[Aside] But love will not be spurr'd to whatTHURIO
What says she to my face?PROTEUS
She says it is a fair one.THURIO
Nay then, the wanton lies; my face is black.PROTEUS
But pearls are fair; and the old saying is,JULIA
Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies' eyes.
[Aside] 'Tis true; such pearls as put outTHURIO
For I had rather wink than look on them.
How likes she my discourse?PROTEUS
Ill, when you talk of war.THURIO
But well, when I discourse of love and peace?JULIA
[Aside] But better, indeed, when you hold your peace.THURIO
What says she to my valour?PROTEUS
O, sir, she makes no doubt of that.JULIA
[Aside] She needs not, when she knows it cowardice.THURIO
What says she to my birth?PROTEUS
That you are well derived.JULIA
[Aside] True; from a gentleman to a fool.THURIO
Considers she my possessions?PROTEUS
O, ay; and pities them.THURIO
[Aside] That such an ass should owe them.PROTEUS
That they are out by lease.JULIA
Here comes the duke.DUKE
How now, Sir Proteus! how now, Thurio!THURIO
Which of you saw Sir Eglamour of late?
Saw you my daughter?PROTEUS
She's fled unto that peasant Valentine;
And Eglamour is in her company.
'Tis true; for Friar Laurence met them both,
As he in penance wander'd through the forest;
Him he knew well, and guess'd that it was she,
But, being mask'd, he was not sure of it;
Besides, she did intend confession
At Patrick's cell this even; and there she was not;
These likelihoods confirm her flight from hence.
Therefore, I pray you, stand not to discourse,
But mount you presently and meet with me
Upon the rising of the mountain-foot
That leads towards Mantua, whither they are fled:
Dispatch, sweet gentlemen, and follow me.
Why, this it is to be a peevish girl,PROTEUS
That flies her fortune when it follows her.
I'll after, more to be revenged on Eglamour
Than for the love of reckless Silvia.
And I will follow, more for Silvia's loveJULIA
Than hate of Eglamour that goes with her.
And I will follow, more to cross that love
Than hate for Silvia that is gone for love.
Enter Outlaws with SILVIAFirst Outlaw
Be patient; we must bring you to our captain.
A thousand more mischances than this oneSecond Outlaw
Have learn'd me how to brook this patiently.
Come, bring her away.First Outlaw
Where is the gentleman that was with her?Third Outlaw
Being nimble-footed, he hath outrun us,First Outlaw
But Moyses and Valerius follow him.
Go thou with her to the west end of the wood;
There is our captain: we'll follow him that's fled;
The thicket is beset; he cannot 'scape.
Come, I must bring you to our captain's cave:SILVIA
Fear not; he bears an honourable mind,
And will not use a woman lawlessly.
O Valentine, this I endure for thee!
How use doth breed a habit in a man!PROTEUS
This shadowy desert, unfrequented woods,
I better brook than flourishing peopled towns:
Here can I sit alone, unseen of any,
And to the nightingale's complaining notes
Tune my distresses and record my woes.
O thou that dost inhabit in my breast,
Leave not the mansion so long tenantless,
Lest, growing ruinous, the building fall
And leave no memory of what it was!
Repair me with thy presence, Silvia;
Thou gentle nymph, cherish thy forlorn swain!
What halloing and what stir is this to-day?
These are my mates, that make their wills their law,
Have some unhappy passenger in chase.
They love me well; yet I have much to do
To keep them from uncivil outrages.
Withdraw thee, Valentine: who's this comes here?
Enter PROTEUS, SILVIA, and JULIA
Madam, this service I have done for you,VALENTINE
Though you respect not aught your servant doth,
To hazard life and rescue you from him
That would have forced your honour and your love;
Vouchsafe me, for my meed, but one fair look;
A smaller boon than this I cannot beg
And less than this, I am sure, you cannot give.
[Aside] How like a dream is this I see and hear!SILVIA
Love, lend me patience to forbear awhile.
O miserable, unhappy that I am!PROTEUS
Unhappy were you, madam, ere I came;SILVIA
But by my coming I have made you happy.
By thy approach thou makest me most unhappy.JULIA
[Aside] And me, when he approacheth to your presence.SILVIA
Had I been seized by a hungry lion,PROTEUS
I would have been a breakfast to the beast,
Rather than have false Proteus rescue me.
O, Heaven be judge how I love Valentine,
Whose life's as tender to me as my soul!
And full as much, for more there cannot be,
I do detest false perjured Proteus.
Therefore be gone; solicit me no more.
What dangerous action, stood it next to death,SILVIA
Would I not undergo for one calm look!
O, 'tis the curse in love, and still approved,
When women cannot love where they're beloved!
When Proteus cannot love where he's beloved.PROTEUS
Read over Julia's heart, thy first best love,
For whose dear sake thou didst then rend thy faith
Into a thousand oaths; and all those oaths
Descended into perjury, to love me.
Thou hast no faith left now, unless thou'dst two;
And that's far worse than none; better have none
Than plural faith which is too much by one:
Thou counterfeit to thy true friend!
Who respects friend?
All men but Proteus.PROTEUS
Nay, if the gentle spirit of moving wordsSILVIA
Can no way change you to a milder form,
I'll woo you like a soldier, at arms' end,
And love you 'gainst the nature of love,--force ye.
I'll force thee yield to my desire.VALENTINE
Ruffian, let go that rude uncivil touch,PROTEUS
Thou friend of an ill fashion!
Thou common friend, that's without faith or love,PROTEUS
For such is a friend now; treacherous man!
Thou hast beguiled my hopes; nought but mine eye
Could have persuaded me: now I dare not say
I have one friend alive; thou wouldst disprove me.
Who should be trusted, when one's own right hand
Is perjured to the bosom? Proteus,
I am sorry I must never trust thee more,
But count the world a stranger for thy sake.
The private wound is deepest: O time most accurst,
'Mongst all foes that a friend should be the worst!
My shame and guilt confounds me.VALENTINE
Forgive me, Valentine: if hearty sorrow
Be a sufficient ransom for offence,
I tender 't here; I do as truly suffer
As e'er I did commit.
Then I am paid;JULIA
And once again I do receive thee honest.
Who by repentance is not satisfied
Is nor of heaven nor earth, for these are pleased.
By penitence the Eternal's wrath's appeased:
And, that my love may appear plain and free,
All that was mine in Silvia I give thee.
O me unhappy!PROTEUS
Look to the boy.VALENTINE
Why, boy! why, wag! how now! what's the matter?JULIA
Look up; speak.
O good sir, my master charged me to deliver a ringPROTEUS
to Madam Silvia, which, out of my neglect, was never done.
Where is that ring, boy?JULIA
Here 'tis; this is it.PROTEUS
How! let me see:JULIA
Why, this is the ring I gave to Julia.
O, cry you mercy, sir, I have mistook:PROTEUS
This is the ring you sent to Silvia.
But how camest thou by this ring? At my departJULIA
I gave this unto Julia.
And Julia herself did give it me;PROTEUS
And Julia herself hath brought it hither.
Behold her that gave aim to all thy oaths,PROTEUS
And entertain'd 'em deeply in her heart.
How oft hast thou with perjury cleft the root!
O Proteus, let this habit make thee blush!
Be thou ashamed that I have took upon me
Such an immodest raiment, if shame live
In a disguise of love:
It is the lesser blot, modesty finds,
Women to change their shapes than men their minds.
Than men their minds! 'tis true.VALENTINE
O heaven! were man
But constant, he were perfect. That one error
Fills him with faults; makes him run through all the sins:
Inconstancy falls off ere it begins.
What is in Silvia's face, but I may spy
More fresh in Julia's with a constant eye?
Come, come, a hand from either:PROTEUS
Let me be blest to make this happy close;
'Twere pity two such friends should be long foes.
Bear witness, Heaven, I have my wish for ever.JULIA
And I mine.Outlaws
Enter Outlaws, with DUKE and THURIO
A prize, a prize, a prize!VALENTINE
Forbear, forbear, I say! it is my lord the duke.DUKE
Your grace is welcome to a man disgraced,
Yonder is Silvia; and Silvia's mine.VALENTINE
Thurio, give back, or else embrace thy death;THURIO
Come not within the measure of my wrath;
Do not name Silvia thine; if once again,
Verona shall not hold thee. Here she stands;
Take but possession of her with a touch:
I dare thee but to breathe upon my love.
Sir Valentine, I care not for her, I;DUKE
I hold him but a fool that will endanger
His body for a girl that loves him not:
I claim her not, and therefore she is thine.
The more degenerate and base art thou,VALENTINE
To make such means for her as thou hast done
And leave her on such slight conditions.
Now, by the honour of my ancestry,
I do applaud thy spirit, Valentine,
And think thee worthy of an empress' love:
Know then, I here forget all former griefs,
Cancel all grudge, repeal thee home again,
Plead a new state in thy unrivall'd merit,
To which I thus subscribe: Sir Valentine,
Thou art a gentleman and well derived;
Take thou thy Silvia, for thou hast deserved her.
I thank your grace; the gift hath made me happy.DUKE
I now beseech you, for your daughter's sake,
To grant one boom that I shall ask of you.
I grant it, for thine own, whate'er it be.VALENTINE
These banish'd men that I have kept withalDUKE
Are men endued with worthy qualities:
Forgive them what they have committed here
And let them be recall'd from their exile:
They are reformed, civil, full of good
And fit for great employment, worthy lord.
Thou hast prevail'd; I pardon them and thee:VALENTINE
Dispose of them as thou know'st their deserts.
Come, let us go: we will include all jars
With triumphs, mirth and rare solemnity.
And, as we walk along, I dare be boldDUKE
With our discourse to make your grace to smile.
What think you of this page, my lord?
I think the boy hath grace in him; he blushes.VALENTINE
I warrant you, my lord, more grace than boy.DUKE
What mean you by that saying?VALENTINE
Please you, I'll tell you as we pass along,
That you will wonder what hath fortuned.
Come, Proteus; 'tis your penance but to hear
The story of your loves discovered:
That done, our day of marriage shall be yours;
One feast, one house, one mutual happiness.